The Last Time I Tried Yoga, My White Legs Landed a Plane

It's summer... It hot and here, in the south, It's the land of swimming and boats and naked people at Walmart. When I live in Pensacola, I had to eat at Hooters to see girls with clothes on... I'm not a small girl... This is no secret...I am also part albino cheetah. To say that I am of northern European descent is putting it mildly. I am freckly.. and I DO NOT tan. (not..I am morally against tanning...I have tried...I went to the tanning beds every day for 6 months... I started  to look like a topographical map.)so... Wearing daisy dukes and tube tops isn't exactly cresting my wardrobe choices. There are days, even, when I put on shorts..take one look at my giant white legs.. and take them right back off again... I don't have a thigh gap...My thighs might even be Siamese twins... But then I step out into the blistering 100*f heat and 400% humidity...immediately giving me a white girl afro and boob sweat... and I march back inside and don my shorts... Here is why you should also:

1. I'm not trying to put the WHO in Whore. The World Health Organization may be trying to reach everyone on the planet with food and medicine, but I'm not trying to sleep with everyone I meet. I'm married. I'm not trying to impress anyone I will meet except my husband. This is a very liberating thought because  it is my husband who complimented me when I bought the shorts. He has good taste...He chose me, didn't he?

2. You aren't that special. Okay...you are...but not when it comes  to how you look in your shorts. When we pick out clothes, we tend to develop acute egocentrism. Suddenly, the whole world cares about every detail of what we look like. I do this, too, but we shouldn't. Outside of being staggeringly under-dressed (or wearing chevron), We don't actually attract much negative attention...However, certain clothes might always attract positive attention..(eg..My girl jersey ninja turtles tee...oh yeah.)...Move those to the front of the line, please... You are worth compliments.

3. Be a rebel without a clue.  All of we who are self conscious have trained ourselves to watch for the signals of disapproval. I'm not saying that it will be easy, but UN-train yourself to focus on what other people think. Why do you care?! Who are they to you?! Live by the wall street motto:  High risk yields high reward! Take chances with your wardrobe... An example: I have always been an hourglass...Granted, my body holds more sand than most... so, even though I have a waist, I have big upper arms and big  thighs. There is a shirt that is a toga style...you know, one sleeve... I have had in my closet for years...I loved it, but was never brave enough to wear it. One day, I was so depressed that I forced  myself to not care what anybody thought. I wore that shirt. HoLy BaLls! People went crazy! "I love that shirt!" "That looks amazing on you!" "Have you lost weight?" high risk=High reward.

Life is short. Too short to worry about what you wear.. Worry about who you are. The mark you leave on this world rests only in the memories that others will have of you. A great man (Albus Dumbledore) once said,"It is the choices we make that dictate who we become." Choose not to care about things as frivolous as thigh jiggle.  Be excellent.