It begins when you find out your pregnant....A hormonal switch gets flipped somehow...somewhere...inside your body. From that moment forward, you are slowly spiraling down the pregnesia hole. Pregnesia: This is a term I coined years ago when I realized that I obviously have something eating my brain like a zombie. It is the mental version of 'butter fingers.' Did I put my keys in the freezer? What day is it? ...I once tried to throw away the laundry.(but that may have been a subconscious revolt against the laundry as an institution ). It affects everyone...(and if it didn't affect you, don't tell me...I hate you)
Pregnesia is a degenerative disease, too. It does not end with the birth of your child. It ages with you....it's like a fine wine...the more you have, the more fun it is for everyone else to watch. Did you ever stop to wonder why our grandmothers would call out the name of every cousin until they found yours? Pregnesia is real. Having a hobby... where you can get fresh air and blow off some steam... can treat the symptoms of pregnesia, though there is no known cure.... until now...
It is no secret that I do improv comedy. Well, a few shows back, I had been suffering greatly from my pregnesia. I was exhausted. Amid taking my son to the allergy clinic, my daughter to her troop meeting, buying groceries, and cooking dinner (all before leaving for the show)... I had forgotten 3 times that there WAS a show! Each time I remembered, it brought a new wave of hurried panic. While I was in the grocery store, I saw this magic bottle of tea... glowing and calling my name from the top shelf...
Yerba Mate' Pure Mind.... for clarity and focus...
I need clarity...I need focus.... I bought it! ...It is NOT delicious...but I drank it anyway.. People...I could see the matrix. It was like Mary Poppins cleaned the inside of my head...I have never been so focused in my life. Where was this stuff in college? Finals week would have gone so differently had I been able to recall what I learned three years ago with perfect clarity... (As it stood, I couldn't remember what I learned three hours before with clarity.)
So, now I buy and ingest this magic tea before every show. I believe in that bottle lies the cure for pregnesia. Granted, the long term effects of the tea-tment have not been verified. This is why I only drink it for special occasions. What if the yerba stops mating? ..I'd be in trouble... I already have this problem where I stop and stare blankly while my mind tries to sort out the finer details of whatever I'm trying to recall..It's a type of eidetic memory, where I can recall things exactly as it happened, but if I miss a piece then I'm stuck like pooh in the honey tree...it may take a few days....Those that know me, they understand....Those that do not, think I'm loose a few screws....My best friend just looks at those people who seem worried and says,"She's operating under an old OS...just give her a minute to reboot..."
Have you said 'I love you' to someone other than your spouse on accident because you were distracted? Do you forget to turn off the oven? The coffee pot? Have you mistakenly left the house without a bra on? Then you, too, may suffer from pregnesia. I hope that this helps shed light on what's really going on when you call your husband your child's name. It was an eye opener for me.
Do you have a special occasion coming up? Does pregnesia affect your daily life? Try magic tea...It works for me...
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