You Sunk My Battleship!

You know those people whose self-esteem is like a battleship? They can be slammed repeatedly and the hull just brushes that shit off. I don’t relate. My self-esteem is like a submarine. It occasionally surfaces and peers above the surface, but inevitably, it will dive back down where it really belongs. 

From an outside perspective, I suppose I’m talented, funny, outgoing, and not completely unattractive (I have moderately decent mugshot despite being fat), but it doesn’t seem to help when it’s time to crest the water of confidence. Perhaps it is because I hold myself to such a high standard. I recognize greatness in others and would like to see that in myself. Maybe it was the series of bad experiences in my life that give me a somewhat jilted sense of self-worth. Regardless of how it came about, the fact remains that I simply don’t see myself as the amazing specimen I long to be. Instead, I’ve decided to bare my insecurity loud and proud and tell you why I think it’s okay to see yourself a little less than perfect.

1.    If you can see improvement, you strive for it. 

 I think that the people who see themselves as perfect aren’t. The reason is because no one is, and everyone needs to be able to improve upon themselves.

2.   Humbleness is a virtue. 

Being insecure keeps you from thinking you are too good for something or thinking you are better than others. Kindness often comes from believing that everyone’s life has equal value. Though, admittedly, sometimes I wish I was a little less humble. It would make it easier to find clothes to comfortably wear.

3.   You get less caught up in material ideas.

 "My significant other gained some weight; I’m better than them now." People with an over-inflated sense of ego tend to think of love as something that revolves around physical attraction and sex. 

I always tell people to ask yourself two questions before entering a serious relationship with another person. First, are they my best friend? If they get on your nerves now…just add time and close proximity! Second, ask yourself if sex was off the table (either from illness or accident) would that be a deal breaker? If it is, you are in the wrong relationship. Having a lower self-esteem keeps you empathetic.

4.   Finally, having an ego that doesn’t fly can allow you an opportunity.

 Most people aren’t as confident as they seem. (Most people are shocked to find out how low mine is…well….most have no idea) seeing yourself lower than others elevates others in your mind. To turn the curse into a cushion, you simply grow some ‘nads and tell people what you see. “You have a great smile!” “You are so very talented!” “I love that coat on you!” What you lack in confidence will come to you in friendship and smiles.

So, remember: It may not be easy to live without confidence, but the fake-it-til-you-make-it philosophy applies well here.

 Good luck today, and …for what it’s worth….I think you’re awesome!