50 Shades of Double Standard

Mr. Grey will see you now.
For some, this line gets you all hot and bothered.

For others, this makes your gag reflex act up.

For me, it is an eye roll of irritation at the other two groups. Even more interesting is that so many of the people that continuously are ranting and posting about it have NEVER. READ. THE. BOOK! I send out a"How do you even know?" into the void. You are simply regurgitating hearsay. Well....I have read ALL the books. There is good and bad in them, to be sure, but TAKE IT FROM ME, it isn't all that everyone is trying to say. Here it is. Short and sweet. The REAL breakdown of 50 Shades of Grey.

1. It is PORNOGRAPHY!

 You think?! I doubt anyone at all was surprised. It is labeled as erotica. No one disputes this fact. However, as far as erotica goes, it is a bit lackluster. While I read all three books because E.L.James wrote some excellent psychology into her tale, I found myself bored in the throws of the books' sensual sections. "Pick a different adjective!" I said to myself as Anastasia does something "slowly" for the 500th time.

2. It is ABUSIVE! Is it? The same people who are screaming that women should control their own bodies, who say,"You can't tell me who I can and cannot sleep with!" are telling you that a woman, knowingly entering this arrangement, is wrong because the relationship doesn't conform to their standards.

She knows exactly what she signs up for, and has the option to leave at any time. SPOILER ALERT: By the second book, she is a sex monkey. It is two consenting adults. Period. Whatever their kinky little hearts desire is THEIR business. 

3. People that like the books are PERVERTS! Well, no...I don't think so.

I'd like to take a minute here to discuss the appeal of a  "Christian Grey"....In a society where women often immasculate men, men have become less swarthy and tough....(or not...and we don't want a hooligan)...Gone are the days of the Cary Grant, the Paul Newman, and the Sean Connery.  Deep down, many women still have a primal desire to be protected, cared for, and are naturally drawn to displays of testosterone. Now we conciously do not want someone to hurt us or control us, but psychologically speaking, we are wired to gravitate toward the "manly man." The appeal of Christian Grey is that outwardly he is caring and protective, and behind bedroom doors he becomes a primal projection of attentiveness and masculinity.


Speaking from personal experience, these books were diamonds in the slutty, dirty, sexually devious rough. Buried within a lot of poorly written foreplay was a tale of a psychologically broken boy who adopts some seriously interesting coping mechanisms. Though he thinks he finds his next chew toy in Anastasia, he actually finds someone with the special gift of setting him free from his sordid past. It is that classic motif of good girl saves the bad boy...and what teenage girl in us never dreamed about that?!

In conclusion, will I see this movie? For fear of Pee Wee Herman's of the world, I'll probably wait until it comes out on video. Do I wish it was sans the dirty laundry? I wish the movie would downplay it. There really is a great story underneath. Should people be having moral meltdowns about this story in particular? NO! ...and here's why. I have seen SO MANY movies in the last 5 years that made me blush uncontrollably. (Can anyone say 'Knocked up'?) (ANY horror movie?) If you are uncomfortable watching people have sex, do not see this film. I understand. IMHO, at least they are in a monogamous relationship. As opposed to Eyes Wide Shut which featured Tom Cruise and his wife having an orgy.

So there it is. ...Now for the spoilers:
The books progress as follows...the sex gets worse, he gets better. They get married and have babies, and she (who was always timid and shy) ends up using his "rather particular tastes" as encouragement to find her voice in (and out) of the bedroom. It's a happy story! While I actually don't condone pornography as an addition to the bedroom (inferiority complexes all around...can we say giant snakes and nazi boobs?!) I do understand the appeal of these books. I found them interesting. especially when real life sometimes reads a little differently:

  To all those on both sides of ANY argument. Try studying up on what you are arguing BEFORE going into battle. Too many wars are fought from a lack of understanding. PEACE!