In an adaptation of a famous quote by the infamous Mel Brooks, lately, it seems, "I'm surrounded by askholes." For those that are unfamiliar with this term:
It is frustrating to say the least, leaving you stressed and in desperate need of a vacation. With that in mind, I began to ponder all of the wonderful places I have visited...wishing to go back. As a child, I was fortunate enough to travel every year with my family. I didn't understand as a child how special that was, assuming that every kid had this opportunity. Now, as an adult, I have met people who have never left their hometown. How small their world must be?! We were not a wealthy family...by any stretch...but we would pile into a car and motel 6 our way across the country. My parents believed that memories were the only things you can keep forever. I still live by that mantra today. In case anyone out there is looking to run away, as well, I have made another list. This time, it is of places that put life into perspective... and you can get there with a car.
1. Orlando, Florida
Let me just get this out of the way first, The most expensive trip on this list, by far, is Orlando. Better than its California cousin, We saved 1/10th of our income for a year and spent a week with our children at Disney World and Universal Studios. There really is no substitute for going. The kid in me swells at the memories of riding space mountain and walking into Diagon Alley from Harry Potter. No vacation will ever compare for your kids. After returning home, my children rewatched the first Harry Potter film, and proceeded to cry.... Don't judge...so did I. It is worth your entire tax return one year, I promise.
2. Washington, D.C
Our nation's capitol has much more to offer than just seeing the memorials...(Though those are awesome!)...It is home to the Smithsonian; the greatest collection of museums in this country...all lined up in a neat little row...all completely free. Granted, you pay for an IMAX movie or food, and they have plenty of gift shops, but still, it is well worth the trip. Your biggest expense will be parking and toll booths. Thanks a heap, coastal places...bring a roll of quarters.
3. Pike's Peak, Colorado
Even if you do not ski, Colorado is the state I'd most like to live in. It is truly so beautiful. I recommend venturing to Pike's Peak, the tallest peak in the USA. Don't feel bad if you get a bit dizzy. The air is so thin that the gift shop keeps oxygen at the ready. I once saw it snow in July! The pictues won't do it justice, and the biggest expenses are the entrance fee (somewhere around 30 dollars a vehicle) and possibly having to stop and let your brakes cool, which means you'll likely purchase a great bowl of stew to pass the time.
4. Durango, Colorado
While you are in Colorado, you should definitely ride the old fashioned train that runs from Durango to Silverton. It is an old west town still in full swing! You can pony up to the saloon and have a cold one, but dress warm, the elevation changes during the train ride as you ascend the mountain. I bought a sweatshirt in Durango...and saw it snow...again...in July...Different trip!
5. Pensacola, Florida
Admittedly, I lived there for a while, so I'm partial, but there are no beaches whiter and softer than those on the emerald coast of Florida. You can surf if you know which beaches to hit (Navarre...ahem), or you can kick back and relax on Perdido Key. Also out Perdido Key is the Naval Air Station; It is a large naval base that is home to the blue angels and a huge free air history museum! You can climb into the cockpit of many airplanes and possible take a simulated flying lesson! At least two hours of fun. Check the schedules because it is possible to watch an airshow, too. If you are looking for a party, head over to Pensacola Beach. The boardwalk is teeming with nightclubs and restaurants...and don't forget to have a bushwhacker! (That's a milkshake with loads of alcohol...there is an annual festival) If you do make it to Pensacola, you must go to McGuire's Irish Pub. It's a restaurant and microbrewery with live nightly shows and an amazing atmosphere. Get there between 7 and 8pm, and plan to be there until at least midnight! Let the debauchery commence!
6. Redwood country, California
This was an incredibly humbling experience for me. I was an adult the first time I made it to the west coast. To be surrounded by trees that I could not possibly climb, could not see their tops, and could not wrap my arms around their trunks.... was breathtaking. There is a place where giant statues of Paul Bunyun and Babe the ox are carved from those trees...and I struggled to climb up on his boot. There are trees you can drive through, and you have to respect them; they are so much older than you. It is also Bigfoot country...That thought alone kept me entertained for hours.
7. The Grand Canyon
This is, admittedly, one I haven't scratched of my bucket list yet. Still, I can imagine how small you must feel standing at the edge of something so colorfully painted and vast that it must have been carved by God's finger... This will happen for me sooner rather than later.
8. New York, New York
I have been there twice, and I haven't scratched the surface of what is available to do. It's expensive, but if you are careful, 600 dollars will get you 3 nights, 3 shows, and 3 meals a day...if you eat street vendors and Little Italy and use the subway(not taxis). The city that never sleeps is a remarkable place to visit, though with children I wouldn't want to live there. ( In the two times I have been, I have only seen toddlers and short adults...I'm from the south... we let our kids age in "real time") Still, everyone should see it. Like every big city, buy your souveniers in Chinatown...save some cash.
9. Mall of America
This is the only other one to remain on my bucket list. Apparently there is a mall in Minnesota that is so big, there is a rollercoaster inside. I want to see this in my lifetime. I wonder if there is a campground so I don't have to do all my shopping in one day...
10. The Thing....BFE, Arizona or New Mexico (I can't remember)
If you want to feel a part of the rest of the world, you should definitely go see the thing. Somewhere between Oklahoma and California, you will begin passing billboard after billboard for "THE THING!" Come see the thing! Only 20 miles to...THE THING! It turns out that the "thing" is an indian mummy in the middle of nowhere, but I had to stop. It's a good place to stretch your legs and laugh at one of the few true tourist traps left in this country. Will you feel duped? yes, but ...just...let it happen.
There really are so many other cool places to go here in the U.S. These are just some of my favorites. If you want something easy and middle America, St. Louis is a good choice. There is a drive through safari in East Texas. The Memphis Zoo is one of the best. If you want to go to another planet, I hear Los Angeles is nice this time of year. Where was your favorite vacation spot? Let me know in the comments. Peace.
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