Leggo My Ego!

Control....I am an ENFP. I HATE control. I firmly adopt the mantra of being self aware and exhibiting self control. I don't like to control others, and I despise others attempting to control me. While the term narcissist is thrown around all too frequently, the term is real. Dictionary.com defines narcissism as noun

1.

inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.

Synonyms: self-centeredness, smugness, egocentrism.

2.

Psychoanalysis. erotic gratification derived from admiration of one'sown physical or
 mental attributes, being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality 
development.

It describes someone who suffers from a personality problem known as narcissistic personality disorder... Are you a NARCISSIST? Are you in a relationship with a NARCISSIST? The following will describe possible attributes and signs of narcissistic behavior....Judge for yourselves.

1. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it started off fast and "too good to be true." 
A narcissist begins by figuring out exactly want you want, and chameleoning into that...at least...until you have fully bought into the relationship. He will say "I Love You" too fast, propose after only dating for a very short time, and sweep you off your feet....when really he was pulling the rug out from under you... The man who is everything all at once could exist, but it is better to wait it out for a while...If he's truly worth it, he'll wait.


2.  He or she is Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. (or Mrs.) Hyde.
To the majority of the world, a narcissist will be wonderful....They are so sweet and polite and cool. People say "what a cute family!" "You are so lucky!" "He (or she) is such a nice guy"... However, behind the closed door, they are controlling, they yell...then apologize....then yell...maybe hit...control, control, control. You might think multiple personality disorder, but it's more likely narcissism.


3. He (or she) is your hair stylist AND your fashion expert. If the person is actually a stylist, ignore this one...I'm talking about control. You can't wear earrings, you can't dress how you want... Every aspect of your life is their concern... The narcissist's EGO is the MOST important, most fragile part of their persona. They will do anything and everything to present perfection to the world. In order to do that, they must control the other people in their life...down to the last detail. Any failure to adhere to the strict guidelines set forth will be met with negativity on a scale from insults to name calling to guilt to physical abuse.

4. The isolation of smug...(lol). I'm sorry; this is no laughing matter. The narcissist ...in an attempt to further control...will often try to isolate the victim both mentally and physically. They like it best when the only opinion is theirs, and will go to great links...like refusing to allow outside friends or opportunities for friends, such as work, school, a vehicle, or internet access... to make sure the only "friends" you have are the people the narcissist has preapproved.

5. I can't hear you! Once again, the only opinion a narcissist wants to hear is his own. This leaves the victim without permission to speak their mind. Anytime they attempt to do so, will result in belittlement, being ignored, or narcissistic rage.


6. The end justifies the means.  A narcissist believes that they can justify their behavior...whatever that behavior is. Whether it is hitting their wife, putting their significant other down "for their own good," or lying. Narcissists lie. It doesn't matter whether there is real justification, a person with NPD can justify almost anything. that is why many narcissists cling to religion. Scripture is interpretive, and it gives them lots of leeway to manipulate with.


If you think you might be in a relationship with a narcissistic person, unless you are severely codependant, it may not be what is best for you.

 If you attempt to leave them, watch for these things to happen:
They may threaten you.
They may try to make you feel guilty.

They may promise to change, but not mean it.
They may threaten suicide.
They may become violent OR attempt to beg.
They may attempt suicide.
They may fake a serious illness.
They may try and smear your reputation.
They may attempt to win everyone to their side.



They flow through the cycle over and over, usually with no real, longterm improvement.

Be aware. Be careful. These people exist. Peace.