You know who she is. In grade school, this was the girl who the boys allowed to play chase or ball with them.... The girl you had to get through to date the guy of your dreams.... The one your boyfriend swears they are just friends.
Girls are jealous of her talents, her ability to grab the spotlight in the room. She isn't the most beautiful girl or the sweetest, but she is always surrounded by males. You find it uncomfortable that your boyfriend thinks she's awesome, and jealous that she can 'man up' when it's bro time.
SPOILER ALERT: THIS MEME ISN"T MY STORY
Perhaps it isn't jealousy, but that idea has gotten me through some dark times. You see, I am THAT girl. All of my friends are guys, with the exception of a select few, and most of the females that I do call a friend have always kept me at arms length. I have never been able to pinpoint why, but the jealousy theory compiled with my general awkwardness and lack of femininity probably play into it. Don't get me wrong. I am very feminine. I cry at a good hallmark card. I love the rom-com. I even like makeup (though I don't like wearing it every day.) I have curves ( too many). Still, my entire life, I found friendship in the most unlikely of places...a sausage festival.
My parents were hyper aware of my position in this role. They allowed boys to sleep over (with regulation, of course) because otherwise, I had no friends to do so. They weren't allowed to sleep in my room, and I was required to hit the recliner. Interestingly, it never got awkward. By the time I reached high school, it was so common that my parents allowed it even when I was home alone...provided it was a select pre-approved set of guys, and I promised to uphold the rules. You may think my parents irresponsible for this (but they never had an incident.) However, you don't know the whole story.
Ladies, before you judge, get jealous, or decide not to relate to THAT girl, let me tell you about life in her Chuck Taylor style converse shoes.
In the beginning was a boy. a Bright red ginger-headed boy who was my kindred spirit and best friend. Being friends with a guy first gave me a proclivity to it, I'm sure. We spent our days playing intensive role playing games based on movies and shows. My friend was a brilliant film artist...even at 6...It is no surprise to me that he ended up in the film industry as a profession...I'm certain he's magnificent still.
The reason I mention the "great movie mix-up" as a game is that movies were already shaping my views of romance and relationships....and I took movies VERY seriously. (e.g. I still speak fluent movie quote.) I believed that kismet was waiting around the corner, stars would align, and true love was simply an inevitability....if I was ready and willing to grasp it.
When I was 8, we moved away. It was hard to leave my bestie behind, but these things happen.We are still facebook friends. My next beau without benefits lasted from 8-13 years old. We were perfect friends... We liked the same things...I liked him...and he liked him, too. It's amazing how blind we can be! (Hindsight is definitely 20/20) This era of my life began the reign of "Hey! Can you find out if so-and-so likes me?" I guess I'm just smooth because no one ever seemed to notice my heart shattering like tempered glass) when these questions were voiced....and boys love to voice this question. It was always easier to make me the safety net. I bet I've answered it no less than 100 times in my life... 100 gut wrenching, vomit inducing times... "Sure," I would say, and-- secretly ---I hoped she would fall in a well. Judy Blume should have better prepared me for this.
***note: The friend zone is NOT something that just happens to guys***
Being in an open and honest friendship, I mustered the courage to ask why he had not considered me as a potential girlfriend. After all, we were best friends... It would be an easy transition. The response I got was the iceberg to my self esteem, henceforth known as the S.E. Titanic.
"Well...I have thought about it...but ...I mean...Have you considered losing weight?"
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?! About half way. It was the same with my social existence. To be the closest person to the guy, but always disqualified for the medal round. (On a side note: I was a little chunky, but not huge...This sucked much and, at least 3 different times with 3 different guys, I was told that my general lack of physical appeal was the main reason we shouldn't date. )
I actually moved again at 13 and became friends with a few new boys who became 13-15. Oh, 13-15! I actually dated one of them! (Somebody LIKED me...as if I was a girl or something! What the what?!?) Then, suddenly he had a massive problem with me having other guy friends...
***note: jealousy isn't gender specific***
So...THAT didn't work. We stayed friends, but it got a little weird, as is the unfortunate way the cookie gets mushy in milk...
Then there was 16- He has no end date because there is always one you can never get over completely. A tiny corner of my heart left me the day 16 jumped flat footed over my backyard fence and into my life. He was THE ONE (or so I thought...life has a funny way of sneaking up on you...so sayeth the Alanis Morrisette). From that fateful day onward, we were inseparable. Every morning for the next 2 years, I was greeted with either a phone call, a knock at the door, or a good morning smile because he had sofa surfed the night before. We laughed a lot and always found something to do...or nothing to do. It was great...So...of course... I was smitten like white or rice on a paper plate in a snow storm.
Alas, it was not meant to be, either...Though 16 never wanted to date me, he was adamant that no one else should, either. So, I spent two years doing more pining than a Canadian lumberjack. Only silent..and miserable...because (though I never missed a prom) I was the fall back. ("Ang, I don't have a date for prom!!! Every girl on my list fell through. It's in 48 hours... Tell me you bought a dress. I need you to go with me!"...Not 16...He didn't go...but other guy friends...In fact, I went to two different proms as a fall back...At least I got to wear the dress. ) I did manage to acquire a singular high school boyfriend that caused 16 to disapprove of, then belittle, then, ultimately, he refused to acknowledge his existence at all...It was short lived.
long story short: The life THAT girl leads isn't all skittles and cream. I WENT MY ENTIRE YOUNG LIFE WITH ALL GUY FRIENDS...ALL OF WHICH I WAS WANTING TO DATE..NONE OF WHICH THOUGHT I WAS DATING MATERIAL!
If the S.E. Titanic could seep through the floor and end up in China, I'd have been fluent in Mandarin!
Now, anyone I went to high school with probably finds this shocking. I was the star of most of the high school plays, sang in the choir, and had my place in the tiny town of Teenagerville. I put on a good show of confidence. All Hail The Queen of Bluffington!...Bow before the master...
As fate had it, I did have my moment of serendipity as a senior. The man of my dreams sang his way into my life, and I have had a fairly blissful romance ever since...(that was almost 18 years ago) (Holy balls, I'm getting old!)
16 stayed in my life for many years after I began dating Mike. They tolerated each other like two starving anacondas trapped in a well. He threatened to bring an air horn to my wedding. It took an oil tanker of alcohol to get them on speaking terms. 16 and Mike, my husband, never fully made amends, and, life hasn't been very kind to him. I hope he's doing okay.
He'll hate me for putting this in here, but I have a friend who once said to me,"Angie...I want a girl who is Just. Like. You...but looks like Lindsay Lohan" (...This was pre-drugs and botox Lindsay...)I freaked out! I screamed,"You don't become like me by looking like her!" "You get snarky and wise from adversity!" "Screw You!" It probably didn't help that I was in a swimsuit at that moment... (P.S. He's a really great guy who found a really great girl that makes him happy...she does NOT look like Lindsay Lohan)
I still have moments of PTSD from the repeatedly horrifying sinking of the S.E. Titanic. You don't GET OVER no one thinking you are girlfriend material...Especially when you were already best friend material. I might have been surrounded by guys,but I lived a gender-less existence.
(Think the movie Euro Trip:"There are NO cute girls at this school! "I am a GIRL at your school!" "Oh, you know what I mean...REAL girls!")
Like the movies, life usually does work out for the best, but rarely is it exactly the way you thought you wanted. I was lucky. I got my movie ending. However, the reason that movies end when they do is because life is a ball of velcro; You roll through and acquire things that get stuck in your fur along the way. Mike is patient when I stand sobbing into a mountain of clothes that I tried on, and I think nothing looks decent. Then I get over it, put on my big girl panties, and go out-guy the guys...because that's what I'm good at...and that's how I roll. I have to...because deep down, I kind of like being THAT girl.
Anyone else suffer from this?! Anybody else have all guy friends? Let me know in the comments...
Alas, it was not meant to be, either...Though 16 never wanted to date me, he was adamant that no one else should, either. So, I spent two years doing more pining than a Canadian lumberjack. Only silent..and miserable...because (though I never missed a prom) I was the fall back. ("Ang, I don't have a date for prom!!! Every girl on my list fell through. It's in 48 hours... Tell me you bought a dress. I need you to go with me!"...Not 16...He didn't go...but other guy friends...In fact, I went to two different proms as a fall back...At least I got to wear the dress. ) I did manage to acquire a singular high school boyfriend that caused 16 to disapprove of, then belittle, then, ultimately, he refused to acknowledge his existence at all...It was short lived.
long story short: The life THAT girl leads isn't all skittles and cream. I WENT MY ENTIRE YOUNG LIFE WITH ALL GUY FRIENDS...ALL OF WHICH I WAS WANTING TO DATE..NONE OF WHICH THOUGHT I WAS DATING MATERIAL!
If the S.E. Titanic could seep through the floor and end up in China, I'd have been fluent in Mandarin!
Now, anyone I went to high school with probably finds this shocking. I was the star of most of the high school plays, sang in the choir, and had my place in the tiny town of Teenagerville. I put on a good show of confidence. All Hail The Queen of Bluffington!...Bow before the master...
As fate had it, I did have my moment of serendipity as a senior. The man of my dreams sang his way into my life, and I have had a fairly blissful romance ever since...(that was almost 18 years ago) (Holy balls, I'm getting old!)
16 stayed in my life for many years after I began dating Mike. They tolerated each other like two starving anacondas trapped in a well. He threatened to bring an air horn to my wedding. It took an oil tanker of alcohol to get them on speaking terms. 16 and Mike, my husband, never fully made amends, and, life hasn't been very kind to him. I hope he's doing okay.
He'll hate me for putting this in here, but I have a friend who once said to me,"Angie...I want a girl who is Just. Like. You...but looks like Lindsay Lohan" (...This was pre-drugs and botox Lindsay...)I freaked out! I screamed,"You don't become like me by looking like her!" "You get snarky and wise from adversity!" "Screw You!" It probably didn't help that I was in a swimsuit at that moment... (P.S. He's a really great guy who found a really great girl that makes him happy...she does NOT look like Lindsay Lohan)
I still have moments of PTSD from the repeatedly horrifying sinking of the S.E. Titanic. You don't GET OVER no one thinking you are girlfriend material...Especially when you were already best friend material. I might have been surrounded by guys,but I lived a gender-less existence.
(Think the movie Euro Trip:"There are NO cute girls at this school! "I am a GIRL at your school!" "Oh, you know what I mean...REAL girls!")
Like the movies, life usually does work out for the best, but rarely is it exactly the way you thought you wanted. I was lucky. I got my movie ending. However, the reason that movies end when they do is because life is a ball of velcro; You roll through and acquire things that get stuck in your fur along the way. Mike is patient when I stand sobbing into a mountain of clothes that I tried on, and I think nothing looks decent. Then I get over it, put on my big girl panties, and go out-guy the guys...because that's what I'm good at...and that's how I roll. I have to...because deep down, I kind of like being THAT girl.
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