Self Cleaning Dutch Ovens and how Ben Franklin Wants to Save the World

Benjamin Franklin is known as one of the founding fathers of this nation. He also had a knack for writing. One of his lesser known works is "A Letter to the Royal Academy" in which he skewers the scientific community for spending their time on theory rather than seeking advancement for the common man. His proposal for how research could better serve humanity is both twisted and hilarious. He suggests that flatulence is a natural process that affects everyone, and yet we hide it. Why is it a shame to fart when everyone does it? Clearly, we need to fix the smell. Ben Franklin told the entire scientific community to drop what they were doing and fix smelly gas so we can "fart proudly." Of course, he never sent the letter to them. He sent it instead to a friend who had a good laugh at the expense of the scientists, but there was some truth to his scent-iments. Therefore, I will be the first to stand up and declare it:

My husband Michael is an enigma to me.

In the 18 years we've been together, I've heard him fart exactly twice...one of which was during sleep. His bowels evacuate (or not) on command. If colons competed in the Olympics, I'm fairly certain he'd be the Russian male gymnast competing in bathroom. He is the fuhrer of flatulence, the Stalin of stool. Somewhere long ago, I think he threatened his innards with death for falling out of line because his gastrointestinal control does not fail. Ever.

 Then he married me.

Some might blame lactose intolerance...Milk does it, but is there lactose in broccoli, beans, cabbage, sunlight, water, or air? They do it, too.  You could say I'm a naturally gassy person...I tend to fart in my sleep. I tend to fart when I'm awake. I have literally farted myself from asleep to awake.The gas transcends.

Some people may whisper in their panties, but my pants only muffle the anal screams. I seem to have the same light touch as a German jazz band. ... If you smell it, you'll know why my rear is screaming. Somewhere between the watering of the eyes and the raping of the nasal passages, you realize the effectiveness of chemical warfare...and will question whether my intestines are a part of a government conspiracy. You'll be happy to know, thanks to rolling in my sleep, that I have been in close proximity to the gas...(I like to call it a self cleaning dutch oven) ...and rest assured you will not die...though you may want to.

It's not cute. It's not feminine, but it is hereditary. Not once in all of time did anyone believe that my mother actually stepped on a bull frog. Just saying. At no point do frogs, barking spiders, or ducks make a sound that resembles the air evacuating a stretched balloon.

My husband ...God bless him...Never complains.

 He did scream,"Ugh...I can taste it!" once, but can we blame him? We had eaten chili, so....

It's difficult because my children take after me also. My darling daughter who wants to be a princess and is supremely feminine, has gas so leaded that it has run the dog out of the room. It makes it worse because they think it's funny.

 ...Needless to say, I no longer allow them to wake each other up in the mornings due to a tragic sharting incident. (I'll let you use your imagination)






No family dinner would be complete at our house without one of them "accidentally" passing wind and then erupting in giggles. Add to that dynamic my husband's family who fart and utter a polite "excuse me" and move on. My children want none of that.  Be advised: They do think it's funny, and they will call you out..via satellite, if it's available.

I'm certainly not fond of my unflattering flatulence (say THAT three times fast!) and it has led to some fun stories.

Mike's favorite was the time I was cleaning out the refrigerator. I was bent over looking for dead leftovers and Mike decided to sneak up behind me and that is when it happened.

Despite trying to hold it in, a tiny squeak of a fart trumpeted out of my sphincter and Mike started laughing. Startled and embarrassed both at having farted and at basically crop dusting my husband, I crouched into a frog position. This was a mistake. I wasn't finished farting. 







With every embarrassed giggle, I farted a little more...(Think: a go cart revving it's engine) and it went on for what must have been 2 full minutes, but with Mike openly laughing at me, it felt like it should be set to the tune of Chariots of Fire. 
By the end, I was sitting in the kitchen floor unable to breathe 

(either from laughing or because all the air had escaped through the other end)...which I guess was a blessing because there was a giant wall of fart in my face...




My favorite story (Sorry, Mom) was the time my mother reenacted a Kmart commercial. In her defense, we were travelling, and I think bad food was involved.  There we were....in the clearance isle of Kmart... across the store from the restrooms...and my mother stops dead in her tracks.
Sometimes....when you fart a lot...you make mistakes.

"I shipped my pants!" she whisper screamed to me. She didn't say "shipped." A look of horror fell across her face. Then I smelled it.
 Without any doubt, she did in fact ship her pants...in Kmart...It was not as convenient as the commercial implies.

She next had to accomplish the task of getting all the way across the store in tact. Thus began the two mile an hour clenched butt waddle with me right behind her trying to "be cool" and avoid gagging while deflecting people from noticing mom's pants.... once we made it to the restroom, the day got better. Mom got a new outfit...and got to wear it immediately.

If anyone else shares in this malodorous malady, there is good news.

I recently read an article about farts restoring mitochondria in the brain.
 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2687696/Could-smelling-farts-GOOD-Potent-gas-flatulence-help-prevent-cancer-strokes-heart-attacks-claims-scientists.html

It also might mean you are healthy.
http://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2014/04/28/306544406/got-gas-it-could-mean-you-ve-got-healthy-gut-microbes

So the next time you #driveby those you love, remember that you might be helping them...and tell them your welcome.

“Fart for freedom, fart for liberty—and fart proudly.” --Benjamin Franklin

Let Thy Food Be Thy Medicine: part 2 -The Good

This may be the most important blog I ever write.

For those that have just tuned in, there is a part 1 to this tale. It is bursting at the seams with information that simply points to a much bigger, hairier ordeal. We must take responsibility for our own bodies and learn to take care of ourselves. It is important that you understand where we are as a society, so that we can collectively move forward. I will attempt to address the good that is happening, and what you can do.



For those that don't know me personally, my father passed away one year ago from aggressive prostate cancer. To say that it sucked is an understatement of gargantuan proportions, but it caused me to delve deep into the medicine surrounding cancer treatments and what progress is being made. My father refused to do chemotherapy. I don't blame him. The cure rate for chemo is around 3%. (The odds are better if you are young...It also depends on the cancer itself.)

In my studies, I think I stumbled upon a secret that most do not understand...and I need to share with you....and you need to share it with everyone you know...

Are you ready?!
You ARE what you EAT!

You mean you've heard that before?! You should have. That was originally said by Hippocrates, the father of medicine, in ancient Greece. He realized ALL the way back then that eating a certain way seems to ward off pretty much Every. Single. Disease.

The idea is simple really. You body is an interconnected set of systems that run on a specific fuel source...like a car. If you were to put marine fuel into your car, It would not run well. (For those who are unaware, boats run on a slightly different fuel than cars.) It is the same with our bodies.

A moment about cancer:

Cancer naturally pops up in our bodies, but is wiped out by our own immune system before it can become a real problem. It is only when that cancer can get a steady supply of blood and nutrients that it actually takes hold and becomes an issue.

Dr. William Li with the Mayo Clinic has done a lot of research about angiogenesis. (AN-G-O-JEN-E-SIS) It's a big word that means blood vessels in your body can OVER grow. What he found first was that when we eat the typical western diet (aka--junk and bread and junk...and then maybe a vegetable...deep fried), we cause our blood vessels to grow so much that they can feed blood and nutrients to other things...and if a cancer can get hold of some of that....you get the idea....

Here's the good news: Dr. Li believes that 2 out of 3 cancers are caused by diet...and can potentially can be cured by diet! You can watch his TED  Talk here!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_5Z31mUmtc

Cancer is nowhere near the only illness that food can fix! Diabetes, heart disease, blood pressure... Google how to naturally prevent these things from happening, and you will always get the same answer... Lots of organic veggies, lean organic meat, and less  (or less traditional) carbs.

 

Now, organic can be expensive, but it is worth it to keep chemical pesticides and GMOs out of your body. I'm notoriously cheap...I recite this mantra while grocery shopping: I can pay more money for the food now or more money for the doctor later.

HERE'S THE GOOD NEWS: Organic food is becoming less expensive and more available all the time! In fact, the struggle of farmers to hang on to GMO corn is FAILING SO MISERABLY, we actually had to import over 40,000 lbs. of organic corn to meet the demand. Companies like Hershey's are promising to be GMO free by the end of the year! Farmer's markets are more popular than ever...The food revolution is upon us! I know that my state recently legalized raw milk sales... (I'm very excited!)

***I may try to write a blog on how to shop for healthy food amid all the fake healthy food soon.***

With regards to vaccines, the good news is that a revolution is occurring all around you...and it has recently caught fire with a little film called Vaxxed. Vaxxed: From Cover up to Catastrophe is a documentary produced by a well respected film producer who worked many years on the show The Doctors. He joined forces with Dr. Andrew Wakefield (Yes...THAT Andrew Wakefield...who incidentally was vindicated by the whistleblower from the CDC) to expose the world to the CDC's fraudulent actions concerning the 2004 autism-mercury study.

It is changing lives. If you believe in transparent medical practices like I do, then support this film as it reaches your area, and get everyone you know to see it. The evidence is irrefutable. If you are particularly froggy and want to help more, try and join the support groups pressing to bring the movie to YOUR area.

Also, a local school in our area recently sent home flyers to every student giving some false information and scare tactics pushing the vaccine agenda. There are medical exemptions for vaccines in every state, and most also have philosophical and/or religious exemptions from vaccines. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO VACCINATE! Turn to social media...Look for local groups. Someone will help you.

Doctors are sold out to medicine, that's true. However, more and more doctors are coming to realize it, and many are switching over to a more naturopathic style of healing. Also, more people are opening natural offices of medicine. BE ADVISED: These people went to school and trained just as hard as a traditional M.D. You are NOT crawling into the hands of an amateur as some would have you believe. As with any doctor, check their background, but they put in the same 8 years as your doctor.

The herbs and minerals prescribed by these doctors are generally safer than pharmaceutical drugs, and they tend to treat the cause instead of the symptoms... (Big shock: They almost always start with your diet.)

The dental industry is waking up, too! You can now find natural dentists that will remove amalgam (mercury) fillings and replace them with safer materials. They also forego use of sodium fluoride. (which isn't the kind that helps teeth) (neither is what's in the water system...but that's a different blog.)

The one other area that I must address as good news is the legalization of marijuana.

Most of my conservative followers may not agree because they imagine people sitting around getting stoned instead of working. I'm sure some facets of that are true. (Although, data doesn't support that, and the marijuana industry has created thousands of jobs) Still, it has helped so many people that almost any amount of flunkies getting couch spread would be worth it. Our veterans are committing suicide at a rate of about 22 suicides a day... That's too many. They are currently only allowed access to pharma antidepressants which carry terrible side effects including suicidal depression. (THAT isn't a cure.) In areas where marijuana has been legalized, drug overdoses dropped more than 25% and suicide rates dropped by 10%. It has shown itself effective in treating cancer as an oil concentrate. It can cure skin cancer when the oil is used topically. Most impressively, it has helped thousands of people (including children...lots of children) reduce or end seizures.
You can help by voting to legalize. (If you can fully legalize to keep discretion out of the hands of corrupt doctors, that would be even better...If they don't get a bonus for prescribing it, some doctors simply won't.) You can't put a price on saving children, people..and people have a right to life...That should include their right to try this cure.

Everywhere you see corruption in the world, there is some sort of coup bubbling under the surface. If Batman were real, he would be preparing his vigilante bat-gadgets onto his utility belt because the whole thing is close to blowing like Mount St. Helens. There is a Chinese curse that says,"May you live in interesting times..." Well, I think it's safe to say we've been cursed, but it is also exciting. We all have a choice to become a part of the change that will be in history books 100 years from now. It is our time to make a difference...not by rioting or being violent or ostracizing like so many other groups for revolution, but through simple actions. Carving a different path by simply buying organic, buying local, growing a garden, choosing a natural doctor, refusing a flu shot, or voting...These small acts of defiance are the key. Not all superheroes wear capes. You can't change the world, but you can make a dent. Take the bull by the horns.(...and any other cliches you can come up with.)

Until my next rambling, I bid you adieu. Peace.

Let Thy Food Be Thy Medicine: Part 1- The Bad

 It all started when my son was 6 months old. I was in the clinic awaiting the call back for his 6 month vaccines, and I picked up a Rolling Stones magazine. In it was an article discussing a possible link between vaccines and autism conducted by a Dr. Andrew Wakefield. As any parent who had never considered negative repercussions of vaccines, I was shocked and wanted more information before proceeding. I got up, took my child, and walked out. I spent the next few days wondering where to proceed. I attempted to obtain an insert from the vaccine box which supposedly would give me a list of ingredients. First, I was lied to.

Then I was simply told no. When I demanded to see the box the vial comes in, they escorted me out of the building. I knew at that point they were hiding things from the public. So I became a temporary anti-vaxxer...just until I could ascertain the details surrounding the doctors' dirty little secrets...

I researched for over 3 years...reading every study. listening to every news report. I spent time getting my hands on vaccine inserts to read.  The more I studied, the more disturbing evidence I found.

Within a few months of that article being printed, I could no longer find it online. The CDC came out with a blanket statement that there was NO link between vaccines and autism because they did a SINGLE study, and the matter was CLOSED! (Capital letter closed because it was covered on every media outlet that this ONE study was enough to debunk any and all other work on the topic.) (Where was responsible journalism?! Where was responsible science?! Anyone in the science field knows you need years of studies to "prove" anything.) Only recently, Dr.William Thompson, a top CDC scientist who worked on the very study that "proved" vaccines and autism weren't linked came forward as a whistleblower with documentation proving the CDC committed fraud by removing half the children from the study to alter results.

Since that time, every study that has shown no link to autism was skewed with the same bad science based on the 2004 study. Britain had ruined Wakefield's career for even suggesting a possible link.
Well, I had been looking into this...I wasn't so convinced.

 There were loads of studies from around the world that were linking vaccines to possible problems with allergies, ADD, ADHD, autism, SIDS,  and even the spreading of the diseases that they were trying to prevent!

 ( side note: Herd immunity is a myth because in order to have herd immunity, you need 90-95% of the population fully immune to a disease...We don't have that. THAT is why most outbreaks of measles and chicken pox happen in "fully" vaccinated communities...Without constant boosters every few years, your body is NOT fully immune. Also, it usually begins because a recently vaccinated person shed the disease. I had a grown friend contract the chicken pox because his daughter had recently received the vaccine.)


Here is a link to just 30 studies that suggest a connection between vaccines and autism. https://healthimpactnews.com/2013/30-scientific-studies-showing-the-link-between-vaccines-and-autism/
Oh...and Here is 125 MORE! https://www.scribd.com/doc/220807175/125-Research-Papers-Supporting-the-Vaccine-Autism-Link

The truth is, most (if not all) of the studies dismissing a link have some form of tie to the money.
These INDEPENDENT scientists had nothing to gain from these findings, and after seeing what happened to Wakefield, they had something to lose...like their career.

So, I did what my father taught me, and I followed the money.

Let's talk about what you..the American citizen...don't know.

I personally do not believe that organizations that control the healthcare and welfare of our country should be able to receive "donations" ...huge sums of money ... from the people who profit from us being sick. let's take the American Academy of Pediatrics. Their number one sponsor is Merck Pharmaceuticals... The parent company for many of the vaccines your child receives.

Oh! If your child suffers a serious reaction or death from a vaccine, you can't sue the company...Our government has created a fail-safe that bypasses due process. Instead, you must apply for an opportunity to be heard by a judge in a special vaccine court. You will wait years, you cannot appeal, and there will be no jury.

 Following Merck are several other pharmaceutical companies making "donations"...and then formula companies (which recently came down and said in a medical journal that doctors should no longer call breastfeeding natural....They are losing too much money.)
http://www.examiner.com/article/pediatrics-journal-says-to-stop-calling-breastfeeding-natural

Medical schools are no better.

 (taken from http://www.onegreenplanet.org/natural-health/how-medical-school-funding-from-big-pharma-impacts-your-health/)

"Did you know that, up until recently, U.S. pharmaceutical companies funded the majority of U.S. medical schools with very little regulation?

It’s nothing new to point out how flawed modern U.S. healthcare is in its treatment-based philosophies over preventative measures. This idea (and our doctors poor grasp on sound nutrition), however, seems to make a lot more sense when we realize just how far the Big Pharm arm reaches.

In 2008, AMSA (American Medical Student Association), in collaboration with The Pew Charitable Trusts, uncovered just how extensively pharmaceutical companies influenced medical institutions in the U.S. AMSA created a conflict-of-interests scorecard to show just how ethically academia was interacting with the pharmaceutical business:

• 40 out 150 schools received an “F”, including Harvard, which had no conflict-of-interests policies in place. (Note: Harvard received an “A” on the next survey.)
• Less than 15 percent of medical schools scored an “A” or “B,” insinuating the overwhelming majority of doctors have received a severely skewed education.  "

AS you can see, it is highly likely that most of what we know about modern medicine has had the opportunity to be seriously misled. If pharmaceutical companies write the paychecks, they control what is and isn't studied, what is and isn't learned in school. Is it so unlikely that they demanded the altering of results?! I mean, they are in the business of profiting only if they keep people sick.

  It is the same way with the food we eat. Do YOU think that the people in charge of our food safety should have monetary links to the companies that profit if we are sick?! I pulled this directly from the Monsanto website,"Prior to Sept. 1, 1997, a corporation that was then known as Monsanto Company (Former Monsanto) operated an agricultural products business (the Ag Business), a pharmaceuticals and nutrition business (the Pharmaceuticals Business) and a chemical products business (the Chemicals Business). Former Monsanto is today known as Pharmacia LLC. Pharmacia is now a wholly owned subsidiary of Pfizer Inc., which operates the Pharmaceuticals Business."

It gets worse. 

The USDA is indirectly controlled by Monsanto...the people who brought us agent orange.

 According to this link: http://www.nationofchange.org/monsanto-has-taken-over-usda-1368111215

 "Monsanto's growth hormones for cows have been approved by Michael Taylor, a former Monsanto lobbyist turned USDA administrator and FDA deputy commissioner.  This was after Margaret Miller, a former Monsanto employee, oversaw a report on the hormones' safety and then took a job at the FDA where she approved her own report.

Islam Siddiqui, a former Monsanto lobbyist, wrote the USDA's food standards, allowing corporations to label irradiated and genetically engineered foods as "organic."

The recently passed and signed law nicknamed the Monsanto Protection Act strips federal courts of the power to halt the sale and planting of genetically engineered crops during a legal appeals process.  The origin of this act can be found in the USDA's deregulation of Roundup Ready sugar beets in violation of a court order.  The USDA argued that any delay would have caused a sugar shortage, since Monsanto holds 95% of the market.

The revolving door keeps revolving.  Monsanto's board members have worked for the EPA, advised the USDA, and served on President Obama's Advisory Committee for Trade Policy and Negotiations."

These people are the best in the world at covering up corruption. 

As you can see (unless you simply choose to be ignorant to your own detriment), there are some serious conflicts of interest lurking in the very organizations that control our health and food. The food we buy at the store is mostly highly processed. Most of that food is filled with known possible carcinogens, preservatives, artificial color, and GMOs. In the part 2 of this series, I will talk about the good news...what we can do for ourselves...and what is changing for the better.