A Day in the Life of a Homeschool Mom

This is a journal entry of a typical day in the life of a homeschool mom...if we had time to keep a journal...which we don't... so this isn't an actual entry...but very typical.... enjoy!

7:00 am: Good morning, me! Coffee is brewing... The cat has food and water...husband is in the shower getting ready for work... I'm not sure what time I stumbled into bed... I fell asleep on the sofa again..Woke up sometime before dawn. I crawled into bed... then crawled back out because I forgot to pee... fell asleep onthe toilet... Woke up and went back to bed...but I'm good now. It will be a great day...as soon as the coffee is ready...

7:30 am: Just sat down with my coffee because I made sure my husband had a good send off and remembered his lunch... The coffee is delicious. The day is falling into place.  I love my life...

7:35 am: I wonder what is happening in the outside world... I'll check Facebook! 

7:36 am: Did I just hear the toilet flush?! Are they awake already? I've barely had time for coffee...Good morning, children.

7:38 am: I had to forego coffee and facebook to fix eggs...I wanted them to eat cereal, but they didn't tell me they finished the milk... I guess we'll have to run to the grocery store this afternoon... 

8:00 am: The kids finished breakfast, but didn't put their dishes away. They sneaked out of the room to avoid starting school again. I had to call them back. 

8:05 am: After another round of "but that's not my plate", we have finally begun school. They seem enthusiastic. 

8:15 am: They seem less enthusiastic... Maybe I should unschool and let them be in control of what they learn... 

8:20 am: I forgot about my coffee... it's cold... Dang it...

8:30 am: My oldest is crying about math being hard. The other won't leave the cat alone. I could NEVER unschool... Someone would die...

8:45 am: My son finally figured out fractions... He feels very accomplished. I must be doing something right. 

9:00 am: My daughter hasn't completed one single sentence in writing.... It's copywork...This doesn't even require neurons... I'm thinking of quitting. 

9:30 am: I feel somewhat cheapened as a person. I ended up bribing my daughter with a treat from the store if she would complete her copywork without complaint.... I'm the homework pimp.... Why do I put my self through this?!

10:00 am: Just saw a school bomb threat on the news... THAT is why I put myself through this...

10:15 am: The kids are hungry again...Why am I tired? Oh, right...the coffee... 

10:30 am: Got the kids some apple slices and peanut butter. While I was fixing it, they got away again... at least they finished the core subjects...I guess they can have a break...

11:00 am: The kids had some down time...I got to have coffee! We will come back with renewed vigor and conquer our school work!

11:15 am: I don't know where your gluestick is! It isn't my responsibility to keep up with your supplies... How can you remember 100 different pokemon and all their evolutions, but you can't remember what century the Civil War was in?! 

12 noon: I can't believe my children can explain the electoral college better than my high school civics teacher... I love homeschooling!

12:30 pm: After lunch, we will go get milk from the store...and maybe a treat for finishing school.... 

1:00 pm: No, You can't have candy.... 

1:30 pm: I can't believe I bought them candy... They can't remember multiplication tables, but they never forget a bribe....

2:00 pm: If these children don't stop bouncing off the walls.... I just want out of the store... I forgot to thaw something for dinner...so I bought chicken...Why did I come here? oh... Milk...

2:30 pm: Got the groceries home and put away... They are driving me nuts... I know, I'll take them to the park...

3:00 pm: I don't understand why they lock park bathrooms when it isn't summer... Where's the nearest gas station?

3:15 pm: You couldn't have told me you were thirsty when we were at the gas station?!

4:30 pm: Finally home... The kids tried to get on the computer, but they know the 5pm rule... so they are adventuring into an art project while I cook dinner...

4:45 pm: We do not use glitter on the cat! Why would you do that?! Daddy will be home soon...Everyone help me pick up, please... and get the duct tape off the carpet. 

5:00 pm: Do you smell something burning?!

5:10 pm: It was dinner... It's okay now... FYI: A watched pot never boils, but a pot left alone burns...

5:30 pm: Dinner is done moments before my husband walks in the door... The kids have settled in front of the computer and are building a minecraft version of Carcassonne. He tells me hi, but his eyes point to the possibility that I might need a shower....Oh, no! When was the last time I showered?!

7:00 pm: We are all snuggled up on the sofa watching the Avengers. This is what it's all about. Wait.... Was Girl Scouts tonight?!... okay, no... We're good...

10:00 pm: The kids finally fell asleep...My husband just headed for bed... I'm finally able to do my own thing....

3:00 am: (on the sofa, freezing my ladyparts off) Where am i?

Can't We All Just Get Along?! An open letter to Democrats...

Dear Democrats, Socialists, and Liberals,

I know that many of you are upset. Some are scared. Some are hurt. Some are outraged. Here's the thing, though...
The election is over. The USA is preparing to inaugurate one Donald J. Trump as the Commander and Chief of the free world....and it seems like you guys can't handle it.

 Life lesson moment: It honestly doesn't matter what you FEEL about the situation.

 For many of you, this is your very first time to participate in the electoral process, and I'm here to tell you,  it can sometimes sting. Many are screaming about how unfair the process of electoral college is, since apparantly Clinton won the popular vote.

There are real, valid reasons...Here is a link to a short video explaining why we do it this way. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6s7jB6-GoU#action=share

 I know that , for me, it wasn't easy watching Barack Obama get into office the first time...It was awful to see him re-elected after knowing what type of president he would make.

HOWEVER, despite my disagreements with his choices, he was the President of the United States, and that office deserves a certain level of respect and honor. In that same way, I ask that you now respect the democratic process and apply that same level of respect to our new leader.

You don't have to agree with him! You don't have to agree with me, but you DO have to accept the fact that, as Americans, we are in this ship together...and if you set fires, ruin friendships, and cause chaos because you didn't get your way, you will sink it.

 We might as well try to get along. Please use some of that tolerance you speak of so frequently to be tolerant of those with a different opinion. Many of you have said some horrid things to people who voted for Trump.

 No one is perfect. The two front running candidates in this election both have more skeletons in their closet than the Manson estate. Do NOT pretend that your candidate was somehow more noble. It simply isn't true.

Remember, anyone can accuse people of anything, but we must rely on FACTS to discern truth.
With that being said, you weren't given a fair look at the candidates. The media was very slanted for your girl. They sheltered you from the negative surrounding Clinton and blasted you inflated slander of Trump.

 Here is a clip of that locker room video where Trump talked of groping a lady. What I actually found MORE offensive, was the idea that he hit on a married woman, but we know from Clinton that a move like that (Especially YEARS prior) doesn't necessarily disqualify you from presidency....AND He did apologize! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWD-IQnqrXc

Clearly, if you are honest, this is not a man actually contemplating grabbing her...This is called a hyperbole. It is a poetry term used to express an extreme for emphasis.

Here is another example of a hyperbole: Hillary Clinton can get away with anything! She could walk up and shoot someone in the face and not go to jail!
Now...Am I actually suggesting that Clinton would walk up and shoot someone?! NO...It's a hyperbole. Plus....and I CAN'T emphasize this enough....He APOLOGIZED! I'm not trying to convince you to like him, but stop lying about him....So if you truly are tolerant people, then forgive.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eA597Kn5iPk

As we move forward, we need to look toward a positive future.

For those of us who are elated with the shift in Washington's elite, but also to those who are not happy with the result...Trust in the process. The checks and balances system is in place to keep the president (or congress or the courts) from having too much power. Trump can't just start dictating orders because he is president.

 In closing, these things happen.

 Before you continue to burn down the establishment, I ask that you wait and see what his presidency brings. I truly don't think it will be as bad as you fear.

 With the creation of more jobs, cheaper private insurance, and lower taxes, you might even like it!

Self Cleaning Dutch Ovens and how Ben Franklin Wants to Save the World

Benjamin Franklin is known as one of the founding fathers of this nation. He also had a knack for writing. One of his lesser known works is "A Letter to the Royal Academy" in which he skewers the scientific community for spending their time on theory rather than seeking advancement for the common man. His proposal for how research could better serve humanity is both twisted and hilarious. He suggests that flatulence is a natural process that affects everyone, and yet we hide it. Why is it a shame to fart when everyone does it? Clearly, we need to fix the smell. Ben Franklin told the entire scientific community to drop what they were doing and fix smelly gas so we can "fart proudly." Of course, he never sent the letter to them. He sent it instead to a friend who had a good laugh at the expense of the scientists, but there was some truth to his scent-iments. Therefore, I will be the first to stand up and declare it:

My husband Michael is an enigma to me.

In the 18 years we've been together, I've heard him fart exactly twice...one of which was during sleep. His bowels evacuate (or not) on command. If colons competed in the Olympics, I'm fairly certain he'd be the Russian male gymnast competing in bathroom. He is the fuhrer of flatulence, the Stalin of stool. Somewhere long ago, I think he threatened his innards with death for falling out of line because his gastrointestinal control does not fail. Ever.

 Then he married me.

Some might blame lactose intolerance...Milk does it, but is there lactose in broccoli, beans, cabbage, sunlight, water, or air? They do it, too.  You could say I'm a naturally gassy person...I tend to fart in my sleep. I tend to fart when I'm awake. I have literally farted myself from asleep to awake.The gas transcends.

Some people may whisper in their panties, but my pants only muffle the anal screams. I seem to have the same light touch as a German jazz band. ... If you smell it, you'll know why my rear is screaming. Somewhere between the watering of the eyes and the raping of the nasal passages, you realize the effectiveness of chemical warfare...and will question whether my intestines are a part of a government conspiracy. You'll be happy to know, thanks to rolling in my sleep, that I have been in close proximity to the gas...(I like to call it a self cleaning dutch oven) ...and rest assured you will not die...though you may want to.

It's not cute. It's not feminine, but it is hereditary. Not once in all of time did anyone believe that my mother actually stepped on a bull frog. Just saying. At no point do frogs, barking spiders, or ducks make a sound that resembles the air evacuating a stretched balloon.

My husband ...God bless him...Never complains.

 He did scream,"Ugh...I can taste it!" once, but can we blame him? We had eaten chili, so....

It's difficult because my children take after me also. My darling daughter who wants to be a princess and is supremely feminine, has gas so leaded that it has run the dog out of the room. It makes it worse because they think it's funny.

 ...Needless to say, I no longer allow them to wake each other up in the mornings due to a tragic sharting incident. (I'll let you use your imagination)






No family dinner would be complete at our house without one of them "accidentally" passing wind and then erupting in giggles. Add to that dynamic my husband's family who fart and utter a polite "excuse me" and move on. My children want none of that.  Be advised: They do think it's funny, and they will call you out..via satellite, if it's available.

I'm certainly not fond of my unflattering flatulence (say THAT three times fast!) and it has led to some fun stories.

Mike's favorite was the time I was cleaning out the refrigerator. I was bent over looking for dead leftovers and Mike decided to sneak up behind me and that is when it happened.

Despite trying to hold it in, a tiny squeak of a fart trumpeted out of my sphincter and Mike started laughing. Startled and embarrassed both at having farted and at basically crop dusting my husband, I crouched into a frog position. This was a mistake. I wasn't finished farting. 







With every embarrassed giggle, I farted a little more...(Think: a go cart revving it's engine) and it went on for what must have been 2 full minutes, but with Mike openly laughing at me, it felt like it should be set to the tune of Chariots of Fire. 
By the end, I was sitting in the kitchen floor unable to breathe 

(either from laughing or because all the air had escaped through the other end)...which I guess was a blessing because there was a giant wall of fart in my face...




My favorite story (Sorry, Mom) was the time my mother reenacted a Kmart commercial. In her defense, we were travelling, and I think bad food was involved.  There we were....in the clearance isle of Kmart... across the store from the restrooms...and my mother stops dead in her tracks.
Sometimes....when you fart a lot...you make mistakes.

"I shipped my pants!" she whisper screamed to me. She didn't say "shipped." A look of horror fell across her face. Then I smelled it.
 Without any doubt, she did in fact ship her pants...in Kmart...It was not as convenient as the commercial implies.

She next had to accomplish the task of getting all the way across the store in tact. Thus began the two mile an hour clenched butt waddle with me right behind her trying to "be cool" and avoid gagging while deflecting people from noticing mom's pants.... once we made it to the restroom, the day got better. Mom got a new outfit...and got to wear it immediately.

If anyone else shares in this malodorous malady, there is good news.

I recently read an article about farts restoring mitochondria in the brain.
 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2687696/Could-smelling-farts-GOOD-Potent-gas-flatulence-help-prevent-cancer-strokes-heart-attacks-claims-scientists.html

It also might mean you are healthy.
http://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2014/04/28/306544406/got-gas-it-could-mean-you-ve-got-healthy-gut-microbes

So the next time you #driveby those you love, remember that you might be helping them...and tell them your welcome.

“Fart for freedom, fart for liberty—and fart proudly.” --Benjamin Franklin

Let Thy Food Be Thy Medicine: part 2 -The Good

This may be the most important blog I ever write.

For those that have just tuned in, there is a part 1 to this tale. It is bursting at the seams with information that simply points to a much bigger, hairier ordeal. We must take responsibility for our own bodies and learn to take care of ourselves. It is important that you understand where we are as a society, so that we can collectively move forward. I will attempt to address the good that is happening, and what you can do.



For those that don't know me personally, my father passed away one year ago from aggressive prostate cancer. To say that it sucked is an understatement of gargantuan proportions, but it caused me to delve deep into the medicine surrounding cancer treatments and what progress is being made. My father refused to do chemotherapy. I don't blame him. The cure rate for chemo is around 3%. (The odds are better if you are young...It also depends on the cancer itself.)

In my studies, I think I stumbled upon a secret that most do not understand...and I need to share with you....and you need to share it with everyone you know...

Are you ready?!
You ARE what you EAT!

You mean you've heard that before?! You should have. That was originally said by Hippocrates, the father of medicine, in ancient Greece. He realized ALL the way back then that eating a certain way seems to ward off pretty much Every. Single. Disease.

The idea is simple really. You body is an interconnected set of systems that run on a specific fuel source...like a car. If you were to put marine fuel into your car, It would not run well. (For those who are unaware, boats run on a slightly different fuel than cars.) It is the same with our bodies.

A moment about cancer:

Cancer naturally pops up in our bodies, but is wiped out by our own immune system before it can become a real problem. It is only when that cancer can get a steady supply of blood and nutrients that it actually takes hold and becomes an issue.

Dr. William Li with the Mayo Clinic has done a lot of research about angiogenesis. (AN-G-O-JEN-E-SIS) It's a big word that means blood vessels in your body can OVER grow. What he found first was that when we eat the typical western diet (aka--junk and bread and junk...and then maybe a vegetable...deep fried), we cause our blood vessels to grow so much that they can feed blood and nutrients to other things...and if a cancer can get hold of some of that....you get the idea....

Here's the good news: Dr. Li believes that 2 out of 3 cancers are caused by diet...and can potentially can be cured by diet! You can watch his TED  Talk here!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_5Z31mUmtc

Cancer is nowhere near the only illness that food can fix! Diabetes, heart disease, blood pressure... Google how to naturally prevent these things from happening, and you will always get the same answer... Lots of organic veggies, lean organic meat, and less  (or less traditional) carbs.

 

Now, organic can be expensive, but it is worth it to keep chemical pesticides and GMOs out of your body. I'm notoriously cheap...I recite this mantra while grocery shopping: I can pay more money for the food now or more money for the doctor later.

HERE'S THE GOOD NEWS: Organic food is becoming less expensive and more available all the time! In fact, the struggle of farmers to hang on to GMO corn is FAILING SO MISERABLY, we actually had to import over 40,000 lbs. of organic corn to meet the demand. Companies like Hershey's are promising to be GMO free by the end of the year! Farmer's markets are more popular than ever...The food revolution is upon us! I know that my state recently legalized raw milk sales... (I'm very excited!)

***I may try to write a blog on how to shop for healthy food amid all the fake healthy food soon.***

With regards to vaccines, the good news is that a revolution is occurring all around you...and it has recently caught fire with a little film called Vaxxed. Vaxxed: From Cover up to Catastrophe is a documentary produced by a well respected film producer who worked many years on the show The Doctors. He joined forces with Dr. Andrew Wakefield (Yes...THAT Andrew Wakefield...who incidentally was vindicated by the whistleblower from the CDC) to expose the world to the CDC's fraudulent actions concerning the 2004 autism-mercury study.

It is changing lives. If you believe in transparent medical practices like I do, then support this film as it reaches your area, and get everyone you know to see it. The evidence is irrefutable. If you are particularly froggy and want to help more, try and join the support groups pressing to bring the movie to YOUR area.

Also, a local school in our area recently sent home flyers to every student giving some false information and scare tactics pushing the vaccine agenda. There are medical exemptions for vaccines in every state, and most also have philosophical and/or religious exemptions from vaccines. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO VACCINATE! Turn to social media...Look for local groups. Someone will help you.

Doctors are sold out to medicine, that's true. However, more and more doctors are coming to realize it, and many are switching over to a more naturopathic style of healing. Also, more people are opening natural offices of medicine. BE ADVISED: These people went to school and trained just as hard as a traditional M.D. You are NOT crawling into the hands of an amateur as some would have you believe. As with any doctor, check their background, but they put in the same 8 years as your doctor.

The herbs and minerals prescribed by these doctors are generally safer than pharmaceutical drugs, and they tend to treat the cause instead of the symptoms... (Big shock: They almost always start with your diet.)

The dental industry is waking up, too! You can now find natural dentists that will remove amalgam (mercury) fillings and replace them with safer materials. They also forego use of sodium fluoride. (which isn't the kind that helps teeth) (neither is what's in the water system...but that's a different blog.)

The one other area that I must address as good news is the legalization of marijuana.

Most of my conservative followers may not agree because they imagine people sitting around getting stoned instead of working. I'm sure some facets of that are true. (Although, data doesn't support that, and the marijuana industry has created thousands of jobs) Still, it has helped so many people that almost any amount of flunkies getting couch spread would be worth it. Our veterans are committing suicide at a rate of about 22 suicides a day... That's too many. They are currently only allowed access to pharma antidepressants which carry terrible side effects including suicidal depression. (THAT isn't a cure.) In areas where marijuana has been legalized, drug overdoses dropped more than 25% and suicide rates dropped by 10%. It has shown itself effective in treating cancer as an oil concentrate. It can cure skin cancer when the oil is used topically. Most impressively, it has helped thousands of people (including children...lots of children) reduce or end seizures.
You can help by voting to legalize. (If you can fully legalize to keep discretion out of the hands of corrupt doctors, that would be even better...If they don't get a bonus for prescribing it, some doctors simply won't.) You can't put a price on saving children, people..and people have a right to life...That should include their right to try this cure.

Everywhere you see corruption in the world, there is some sort of coup bubbling under the surface. If Batman were real, he would be preparing his vigilante bat-gadgets onto his utility belt because the whole thing is close to blowing like Mount St. Helens. There is a Chinese curse that says,"May you live in interesting times..." Well, I think it's safe to say we've been cursed, but it is also exciting. We all have a choice to become a part of the change that will be in history books 100 years from now. It is our time to make a difference...not by rioting or being violent or ostracizing like so many other groups for revolution, but through simple actions. Carving a different path by simply buying organic, buying local, growing a garden, choosing a natural doctor, refusing a flu shot, or voting...These small acts of defiance are the key. Not all superheroes wear capes. You can't change the world, but you can make a dent. Take the bull by the horns.(...and any other cliches you can come up with.)

Until my next rambling, I bid you adieu. Peace.